"Secret of a Long Marriage" joke
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.
The husband responded, "When we were first married we came to an agreement - I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions.
And now, after 60 years of marriage, I can truthfully say that we have never needed to make a MAJOR decision."
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
"Sir, what is the secret of your success?" a reporter asked a bank president.
"Two words."
"And, sir, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"And how do you make the right decisions?"
"One more...
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."
The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a more...
A Jewish father, Moisha, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak...
"Father, I am going to marry!"
His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Nagila... "Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl?" says the father. "What is her more...