"This is your lucky day!" joke
In New York City last week a taxi clipped a red Beetle while veering across four lanes of traffic to pick-up a fare. The two drivers got out to examine the damage the cabbie a short man of Middle Eastern origin,
the Beetle driver a hulking giant.
As the cabbie approached, the Beetle driver grabbed him by the shirt and hoisted him off the ground. There, at eye level with the cabbie's feet dangling in the air, the Beetle owner began screaming, every third
sentence being, "This is your lucky day!"
Eventually, the cabbie was lowered back to terra firma, but, then, the Beetle guy asked, "Don't you want to know why this is your lucky day?" He then proceeded to answer his own question:
"Because I'm on my way to anger management class and I don't dare show-up with blood on my shirt!"
Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller.
"Two men are madly in love with me!" Goldie says. "Who will be the lucky one?"
The swami answers...."Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to more...
The Lucky Frog
Abe lives in Tel Aviv. One day, he takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Abe thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron". Abe more...
There was a blonde that had just finished a swim she had three towels on ne over her uper bdy one over her stomch and one over her bottom as she opened herlcker her lucky penny fell out she looked over and a middleaged goirl had picked it up she replied can i please have my more...
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So more...