"What is a Consultant?" joke
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A consultant is a man who knows 99 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women.
A consultant is someone who is called in at the last moment and paid enormous amounts of money to assign the blame.
My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.
Maori falla " Me miss!?"
English Teacher, "You! yes you?" "How many seconds are there in one minute?" Whole class puts their hands up. Miss! Miss! I know!
Maori falla " rrrrrrrr ummmmmmm rrr "60 Miss! 60 seconds in one minute more...
Maori falla trying to have sex with his girlfriend,
Maori falla " Ohhhh!!! come on babe we been going together for a month now, Pleeeeeeeeeeese!!!?"
Girlfriend " I know i want to to but im frighten something might happen! you know what i more...