1st Jokes / Recent Jokes

1st wife:' Did you manage to get away from cricket at your wedding?'

2nd wife:' Don't talk to me about it. I thought it was a bad sign when we had to enter under an arch of cricket bats, but it got worse.'

1st wife:' What happened?'

2nd wife:' The choir sang The Bails of St. Mary's!'

1st Friend: I have the perfect son.

2nd Friend: Does he smoke?

1st Friend: No, he doesn`t.

2nd Friend: Does he drink whiskey?

1st Friend: No, he doesn`t.

2nd Friend: Does he ever come home late?

1st Friend: No, he doesn`t.

2nd Friend: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

1st Friend: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

There Are 2 Men Siting In A Boat 1st Man To The 2nd Man-There Is A Hole In The Boat 2nd Man To The 1st Man-Make Another Hole
So That The Water Can Go From The Second Hole

Two nuns and a mother superior had a fatal accident and died and all three arrived at Heaven's door,
Saint Peter was at the entrance to greet the three nuns and mother superior introduced herself and the other two to saint Peter.
Saint Peter said,"well ladies we have a system here, you'll have to answer a question each before I can let you in"
Nuns and mother superior agreed.
Saint Peter asked the 1st nun "Who was the first man on earth?"
Nun said "adam",
saint Peter said, "You are in"
asked the 2nd nun "Who was the 1st woman on earth?"
nun said,"Eve".
St. Peter said," you are in".
Mother superior came forward, St Peter said "well you were holding a higher post and I will have to ask you a hard question"
"When Eve saw adam standing bollock nacked in front of Eve what did she tell him?"

Mother superior wanted to express the more...

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It’s a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, “I’m so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class. ”
“I can do What-eva I want, I’m a blonde. ” Well I’ll get the pilot.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says, ” What did you say? ”
The pilot simply says, ” I told her 1st class wasn’t going to Miami, just coach was!!! ”

TWO MEN SITTING BESIDE ONE ANOTHER IN A BAR. THE 1ST MAN IS AN AVERAGE SIZE GUY WEIGHINGABOUT 170 LBS. THE 2ND MAN IS A HUGE FAT GUY WEIGHING ABOUT375 LBS. THE 2ND GUY ASKS THE 1ST GUY. "WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, DO YOU ALWAYS HIT BOTTOM?" THE 1ST GUY REPLIES, "IT DEPENDS ON THE WOMAN, HOW ABOUT YOU?" THE 2ND GUY REPLIES, "I ALWAYS HIT BOTTOM, NOMATTER WHO I'M WITH." OF COURSE YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO HIT BOTTOM WHEN YOU "MASH IT FLAT".

Whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping from10th floor?............

Former goes Dhaap AAAAAaaaaaaaaa.
Later goes AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Dhaap.