2nd Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered.
The first guy said, ”Hey, I’ll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you! ”
Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ”YOU’RE ON! ”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ”WOW, ” screamed the 2nd guy, ”That was incredible. Do it again! ”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ”That is remarkable. Do it one more time! ”
”Ok, ” said the first guy, ”But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it. ”
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ”Your turn, ” he said.
So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. more...
Redneck Driver's Application Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Last name: ________________First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann SueAge: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Un-employed [_] Dirty PoliticianSpouse's Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________ 3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________ Lover's Name: __________________________ 2nd Lover's Name: __________________________Relationship with spouse: [_] Sister [_] Aunt [_] Brother [_] Uncle [_] Mother [_] Son [_] Father [_] Daughter [_] Cousin [_] PetNumber of children living in household: ___ Number of children living in shed: ___ Number of children that are yours: ___Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: more...
Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days? 2nd Monster: Hes at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh, whats he studying? 2nd Monster: Nothing, theyre studying him!
There were 3 guys in a plane. The plane was about to crash.
They each had to throw one item out:
The 1st guy threw out an apple.
The 2nd one threw out a bannana.
The 3rd one threw out a bomb.
There were 3 guys below them. 2 were crying, 1 was laughing.
A guy went up to the 1st one and asked, "Why are you crying?"
He answered, "an Apple hit me on the head.
He went up to the 2nd one and asked, "Why are you crying?"
He answered, "a Bannana hit me on the head."
He went up to the 3rd one and asked, "Why are you laughing?"
He answered, "I farted and my house blew up!"
Redneck Driver's License Application... Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Last name: ________________First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann SueAge: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Un-employed [_] Dirty PoliticianSpouse's Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________ 3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________ Lover's Name: __________________________ 2nd Lover's Name: __________________________Relationship with spouse: [_] Sister [_] Aunt [_] Brother [_] Uncle [_] Mother [_] Son [_] Father [_] Daughter [_] Cousin [_] PetNumber of children living in household: ___ Number of children living in shed: ___ Number of children that are yours: ___Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's more...
1st wife:' Did you manage to get away from cricket at your wedding?'
2nd wife:' Don't talk to me about it. I thought it was a bad sign when we had to enter under an arch of cricket bats, but it got worse.'
1st wife:' What happened?'
2nd wife:' The choir sang The Bails of St. Mary's!'