Affair Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8. 00 p. m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary, and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8. 00 p. m." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!!"

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"

Three men are standing at the gates to Heaven and the saint there says "I'm sorry guys but heaven's pretty full right now so unless your death was gruesome or unusual then you have to go down to Hell."
The first guy says "All right then. Well I suspected my wife of having an affair so one day I came home from work early and heard her moaning inside. I tried to break down the door I was so angry, but after a while I decided to use my keys. When I got in I searched the house for him but couldn't find him until I went out to the verandah for fresh air. Then I saw him clinging to the bottom railing.
"I was furious! I grabbed a hammer and started banging his fingers. He fell of into a bush so I threw the fridge on him.
"I had a weak heart and I died from the stress"
"Okay then you can go in."
The next guy says "Well I like to do push ups on my verandah every day but today it collapsed due to faulty building and I was more...

Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack?
Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?
Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?
Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister?
Which president called his mistress "Pookie"?
Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign?
Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife while he was engaged to someone else?
Which president had a torrid affair with the first lady's personal secretary?
Which president had sex with a young woman in a White House coat closet - at one point, while a secret service agent more...

A married man and his secretary are having an affair. They decide to leave the office early one day and go to the secretary's apartment for an afternoon of lovemaking. They fall asleep and don't wake up until 8 o'clock that night. They quickly get dressed and the man asks his secretary to take his shoes and go rub them in the grass. The secretary thinks this is pretty weird, but she does it anyway.
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door. The wife is very upset and asks him where he has been.
The husband replies, "I can not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. We left work early today, went to her place, made love all afternoon, and then we fell asleep. That's why I'm late!"
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those grass stains all over your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair.
One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love.
When they were finished they fell asleep and didn't wake up till 8 o'clock.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn.
Bewildered, she does as he asks (thinking he's pretty weird).
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door.
Upset, she asks where he's been.
The man replies "I cannot tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair.
Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love then fell asleep.
That's why I'm late."
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those grass stains on your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you!"

Having a torrid affair, one afternoon a married man and his secretary were finding it difficult to contain their passion. They hurried over to her apartment where they spent the rest of the day making passionate love.
Eventually they both fell asleep and didn't awake until 9:00PM. Quickly getting dressed, he told her to take his shoes outside and rub them in the lawn. She thought this was a very strange request, but did as he said.
When he finally reached home, he was greeted at the door by his wife. Obviously upset, she asked him where he had been. "I can't tell a lie," he said. "My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we decided to leave work early, go to her place and spend the afternoon making passionate love. Afterwards, I feel asleep. That's why I'm late."
Taking notice of his shoes, his wife yelled, "You're a damn liar! I can tell those are grass stains on your shoes. You've been out playing golf again, haven't you!"