Alien Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four Aliens Land On Earth. They Each Learn A English Word. The First Alien Learns' Me, Me, Me, Me, Me'. The Second Alien Learns
'With Knives And Forks'. The Third Alien Learn' Because He Sold My Lollipop'. The Fourth Alien Learns' Hurrah! Hurrah!'. In
The Same Town A Man Dies. A Policeman Goes To The Aliens And Asks Them "Who Murdered The Man?" The First Alien Says
"Me, Me, Me, Me, Me." The Police Asks "With What?" The Second Aslien Says "With Knives And Forks." The Police Again Asks "Why?"
The Third Alien Says "Because He Stole My Lollipop?" And The Fourth Alien Says "Hurrah! Hurrah!"

A man is sitting in a bar and all of a sudden an alien starts poking him. The man turns around and asks the alien to stop poking him. The alien stops poking him for a minute and starts poking him again. The man turns back around and says, "If you don't stop poking me I'll take you outside and beat the shit out of you! Again the alien stops poking him for one minute and then starts again. The man is so frustrated that he takes the alien outside and beats the shit out of him. Still the alien starts poking him after a minute. The man turns around and asks the alien why it needs to poke him and the alien says, " Oh this is poking? On my planet it is called sex!"

Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization... Simply send 6 x 10^50 atoms of hydrogen to the star system at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your star system at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other star systems. Within one-tenth of a galactic rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

MARS AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH

Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that' the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft'.

The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert,' bouncing' several times before coming to a stop,' deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases'. Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.

General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were more...

there is 3 aliens that come to earth;the first one goes to an opera and learns how to say mememe.The second alien goes to a restaraunt and learns how to say forks&knives forks&knives.The third one goes to a candyshop and learns how to say goody goody gum drops goody goody gum drops.
So the next day a cop says " there was a murder that happened and I would like to know if anyone of you murdered the boy" so the first alien says "mememe," so the cop says "what did you use to kill the person?" the second one says" forks & knives forks& knives" so the cop replies " you know your going to have to go to jail for this" the third alien says "goody goody gum drops goody goody gum drops!"

PESCARA, Italy - Two senior citizens paid out more than $367,000 for uranium to feed an extraterrestrial doctor they had been told would cure their ailments.
Police said three tricksters persuaded the women that the alien, called Sagyr, could cure them provided he was given uranium for nourishment.
Having failed to spot any improvement in their infirmity, they decided to call police. The trio was jailed Friday by a court in this central Italian city. A judged ordered a sentence of 30 months in prison and a fine.