Ambulance Jokes / Recent Jokes
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. Youre an ambulance!
My mother lives outside of Hartford, Connecticut, and one Saturday morning she asked me to drive her to a dental appointment in White Plains, New York. Not because there is a lack of dentists in Connecticut, but because my family is originally from New York and we kept our regular dentist after moving from the state.
However, time was not our ally that morning and we were running late. As with any person who is behind the time, the natural reaction is to step on the gas. So we were zooming down the Merritt Parkway and from the right corner of my eye I noticed a blur on a hill overlooking the road. The blur looked like a grey car with flashing lights on its roof. You get the idea.
About three minutes later, I saw that blur in my rear view mirror. Its lights were flashing and my super-duper hearing could pick up the faint trace of a distant siren. “Ma, we’re going to be pulled over,” I said to my mother.
“Why?” she asked, not aware that I parted more...
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house
in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the
motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged
through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the
house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her
husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him
and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an
ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the
several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her
husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the
wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had
spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some papers towels, blotted up the
gasoline, more...
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY.... check it out these actual cases.
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba
tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like more...
One day a blond is getting back from the stor and as she pulls into the drive way she heres aload BANG! and fells somthing hit her head she reach's back and feels somthing soft and mushey in alarm she grabs here head thinking that she had been shot and that that was her brain. as somone gos by they notice her yelling for an ambulance so the man runs and calls an ambulance. when the paramedecs pry her hands from her head they find her cluthching a pice of dough!
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A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS
372.01 - Any person with a valid California state rodent or deer hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.
372.02 - Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.
372.03 - The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.
372.04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or fixed-wing aircraft.
372.05 - It is unlawful to shout "Whiplash!", "Ambulance!", or "Free Scotch!" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
372.06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys more...
A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS372.01 - Any person with a valid California state rodent or deer hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.372.02 - Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.372.03 - The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.372.04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or fixed-wing aircraft.372.05 - It is unlawful to shout "Whiplash!", "Ambulance!", or "Free Scotch!" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.372.06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one hundred (100) more...