Andy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde died and went to Heaven where she was met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. He told her that before she could enter Heaven, she would have to pass a test. As she was looking worried he told her not to fret, he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.
Thinking for a few moments she replied, "Andy."
"Very interesting," said Saint Peter. "What would make you say that?"
Just then she started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me, Andy tells me... "

A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter...He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test."What is The Son Of God's name?" he asks.She thinks for a minute, rubbing her chin in deep thought. "Andy!" She bursts out with a gleaming smile."No, I'm sorry that is incorrect, what made you say that?" he asks.She starts singing... "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, andy tells me..."

Sam and Andy were close friends, but they were both getting on in years. When they were both in their seventies, they made a deal: Whoever kicked off first would try hard to come back and tell the other what the afterlife was like.
Shortly after making the deal, Sam passed on. A few nights later, Andy was lying in his bed when a voice came in through the open window.
"Andy....Andy..."
The old guy sat up. "Sam, is that you?"
"Yes... and I tell you, it's marvelous... simply fantastic."
"Tell me about it," Andy said excitedly.
"Well... in the morning we eat breakfast and then spend hours making love. Then we eat lunch and spend hours making love. Finally we eat dinner and then make love a few more times."
"Holy smokes!" said Andy, "I can't wait to die and go to heaven!"
"Heaven?" retorted Sam, "Ain't no heaven. I'm outside your window. I came back as a rabbit."

The teacher asked little Andy if he knew his numbers yet. "Yes teacher," he said, "my dad taught me."
"Good Andy. Tell me what comes after two." the teacher said. "Three," replied Andy.
"Very good. What comes after five Andy?" asked the teacher. "Six," answered Andy.
"Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked.
"A jack!" replied Andy.

Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely.
Finally, after much persuasion, she consented to go out on a date with Andy, a gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.
Andy picked her up and they went to a very secluded spot to have a picnic.
Andy had also been divorced for quite some time and found himself very attracted to Rosemary.
Despite her initial resistance to his advances, he finally suceeded in making love to her.
Rosemary was mortified at her lack of self-control and sobbed, "I don't know how I'm going to face my daughter, knowing that in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!"
"What do you mean, twice?" Andy asked. "We only did it once."
"Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?" Rosemary asked.

Aaron Thetires (Air in the Tires)
Abe Rudder (Hey Brother)
Abbie Birthday (Happy Birthday)
Abel N. Willan (Able and Willing)
Achilles Punks (I'll Kill These Punks)
Adam Bomb (Atom Bomb)
Adam Meway (Out of My Way)
Adam Sapple (Adam's Apple)
Adolf Oliver Nippils (Ate Off All Of Her Nipples)
Al B. Zienya (I'll Be Seeing You)
Al DePantzeu (I'll De-Pants You)
Al Gore-Rythim (Algorithym)
Al Kaholic (Alcoholic)
Al Kaseltzer (Alkaseltzer)
Al Kickurass (I'll Kick Your Ass)
Al Killeu (I'll Kill You)
Al Luminum (Aluminum)
Al Nino (El Nino)
Al O'Moaney (Alimony)
Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll Fuck Anyone)
Alec Tricity (Electricity)
Alex Blaine Layder (I'll Explain Later)
Alf Abet (Alphabet)
Ali Gator (Ali Gator)
Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina)
Amanda B. Recandwithe (A Man to Be Reckoned With)
Amanda Lay (A Man To Lay)
Amanda Hugnkiss (A Man to Hug and Kiss)
Andy more...

Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely. Finally, after much persuasion, she consented to go out on a date with Andy, a gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.
Andy picked her up and they went to a very secluded spot to have a picnic. Andy had also been divorced for quite some time and found himself very attracted to Rosemary. Despite her initial resistance to his advances, he finally suceeded in making love to her.
Rosemary was mortified at her lack of self-control and sobbed, "I don't know how I'm going to face my daughter, knowing that in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!"
"What do you mean, twice?" Andy asked. "We only did it once."
"Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?" Rosemary asked.