Anthem Jokes / Recent Jokes

Aussie: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of
themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball more...

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
-
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
-
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 5 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
-
Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so more...

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?"Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

This pimp needed the best slut he could find for a special, perverse client, So he went to each of his whores, trying to find out who had the most talent.
He went up to this one slut and asked, "What can you do that is special?" She replied, "I can give you head for 3 hours straight!" Well, the pimp didn't want his client dick to get sore, so he went to another girl. He asked the same question. She replied "I can get 2 fingers and 3 dicks in my cunt all at once!" That still wasn't good enough for the pimp. He went to a third slut and asked the same question. She replied, "I can give head while singing the national anthem all at the same time!" The pimp was impressed by this so they went back to his house. The girl ripped off both of their clothes and turned off the light. She started giving him head and singing at the same time. The pimp was amazed, "Wow you have some real talent", he said. She said, "Thanks but don't turn on more...