April Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs. 10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have a ‘pass’.
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Bible church’s focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
Man Killed Repairing Truck - April 1, 1995 Kalamazoo Gazette -- James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police described as a "farm-type dump truck. " Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could asthe source of a troubling noise. Burns's clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
April 23 - April 29
"Oh and one more thing, you were an anal baby."
- Alec Baldwin, in a follow up voicemail to daughter Ireland.
Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.
Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like more...
Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick. Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit. Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you more...