Arizona Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock KnockWhos there! Arizona! Arizona who? Arizona room for one of us in this town!

Thousands of dead Floridians are registered to vote and some in CentralFlorida had ballots cast in their names long after their deaths. After hearing the news, John McCain immediately headed down to Florida to campaign directly at the cemetaries.

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

Each of us generates about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, most of it paper.

Women manage the money and pay the bills in 75% of all Americans households.

A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.

It has NEVER rained in Calama, a town in the Atacama Desert of Chile.

It costs more to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

An eighteenth-century German named Matthew Birchinger, known as "the little man of Nuremberg," played four musical instruments including the bagpipes, was an expert calligrapher, and was the most famous stage magician of his day. He performed tricks with the cup and balls that have never been explained. Yet Birchinger had no hands, legs, or thighs, more...

A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road. The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk. He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess. He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?" The mechanic replied, "It looks like more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Arizona!
Arizona who?
Arizona room for one of us in this town!

With songs like:
1. You Don't Smoke Plumbers Crack
2. Bald is Beautiful, But I'm Butt Ugly
3. 2-Hour Lunch Break, My Ass!
4. I'm Knocking On Your Back Door, Wink, Wink
5. Whip Me, Beat Me, But Don't Make Me Over Bill
6. Your Daughter's Cute, When Does She Turn 13?
7. Is That A Monkey Wrench In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me Grab Your Cock?
8. Keep Your Dog Away From My Crotch(Instrumental)
9. There's A Lein On Your Vehicle, Bitch!
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