Astronauts Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause. Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked "Has anyone got a friggin' match?"

A spaceship lands on Mars, and the astronauts are getting ready to go out when they look out the window and see something really weird.
Radioing Earth they yell: "Houston, we've got a problem, there's a bunch of fully-bearded green Martians wearing black clothes, sidecurls and hats out there."
"Go out and make contact, find more about them", was the reply.
So they did, and when they approached the group one of the astronauts asked: "Do you all dress like that?"
"Oh, not at all, reply the Martians, Only the orthodox ones!"

A spaceship lands on Mars, and the astronauts are getting ready to go out when they look out the window and see something really weird.
Radioing Earth they yell: "Houston, we've got a problem, there's a bunch of fully-bearded green Martians wearing black clothes, sidecurls and hats out there."
"Go out and make contact, find more about them", was the reply.
So they did, and when they approached the group one of the astronauts asked: "Do all Martians dress like that?"
"Oh, not at all," reply the Martians, "Only the orthodox ones!"

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Collection of Shuttle Joke "SHUTTLE JOKES
Q: Did you know that Christa McAuliffe was blue eyed?
A: One blew left and one blew right.
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words?
A: "What's this button do?"
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."
Q: What was the Shuttle's last transmission?
A: "I said BUD LITE!"
Q: What does NASA stand for?
A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Also
A3: Chicken Kiev Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.
Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't
get 7-UP.
Q: When the next shuttle launches into space, what will the senior
controller say?
A: "72, 73, 74 BOOM! - Just kidding guys!"
Q: more...

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba
City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with
all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits.
Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about,
occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA
personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were
and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon. The
man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man
gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would more...