Bears Jokes / Recent Jokes

the bear and the rabbit live in the same woods and they dont like each other but they bumped into each other and ran into a golden frog so the bear says hey you give us wishes right the frog looks up and says fuck yeah three for you and three for the rabbit so the bear goes fist, okay i want all the bears in this forest to be female, so then the rabbit says i want a helmet, next the bear says i want all the bears in the neighboring forest to be female, thenthe rabbit says i know i want a motorcycle, the bear says rabbit your gay why do you want that shit, i know says bear i want all trhe bears in the world to be femaleso i get all the pussy, rabbit looks at bear and says you dum shit, then rabbit say i know for my last wish i want bear to be gay so rabbit rides off on his harley

The Bears were trailing the Packers 42-0 when the Bears wide reicever said we need to score a touchdown quick to get back in this when suddenly the quarterback says What the heck is a touchdown?

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?" The woman says, "You can have any prize

A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone.
The pair agreed.
The bear said he would go first. "I wish...that all the bears in this forest were female." The genie granted the wish.
The bunny just grinned and asked for a helmet.
The bear thought that strange but continued. "I wish...that all the bears in this country to be female!" The genie granted the wish.
The bunny just grinned again and wished for a motorcycle. He jumped on the bike, put on his helmet and started gunning it.
The bear looked at the bunny and said, "You must be the stupidest bunny I ever met!" Then he asked for his last wish. "I wish...that all the bears in this world to be female!" The genie granted the more...

A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone. The pair agreed. The bear said he would go first. "I wish...that all the bears in this forest were female." The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned and asked for a helmet. The bear thought that strange but continued. "I wish...that all the bears in this country to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned again and wished for a motorcycle. He jumped on the bike, put on his helmet and started gunning it. The bear looked at the bunny and said, "You must be the stupidest bunny I ever met!" Then he asked for his last wish. "I wish...that all the bears in this world to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just more...

A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo last weekend during the annual beer festival.

To ensure that this doesn't happen again at next year's Beer Festival, organizers are changing the date so that it doesn't coincide with the bears annual Man Festival.

Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place!