Beaverton Jokes

BEAVERTON, OREGON - Intel Corporation announced a major expansion of its successful' Intel Inside' campaign with a new line of silicon breast implants.

'We thought this would be a natural market for us because of our unparalleled knowledge of silicon,' Intel spokesperson Duwane Marino told the tightly-packed audience at a press conference in the Teton Auditorium in Beaverton's Civic Center Building.' Besides, Intel has a wealth of experience forcing new technology on the mass market. We feel that we're the company that makes cosmetic upgrades a part of the average person's life.

Implant beta-test subject, actress and model Eirika Anderssen, stated that her career is 133% faster since receiving' Pointium-II' implants at the beginning of the year.' Intel Inside stacks up against the best of the others,' she said.

Industry experts agree that the Intel move will turn plenty of heads, but believe the market for the new Intel products will be soft through more...