Implants Jokes

A
couple had been married for several years when suddenly
the wife decides she'd like to have breast implants.
The husband says, "Now, honey, you know we can't afford that kind of thing right
now."
"But I see you looking at other women," pleaded his wife, "and I want to be as
attractive as they are to you."
Days go by and the wife keeps insisting she needs breast implants, despite the
protests of her husband. Finally, the husband has had it. So he says to his wife, "Honey,
I have an idea. Every day, about twice a day, wad up some toilet paper, then
rub it between your breasts. Repeat it 3 or 4 times each time."
"You think that'll make my breasts larger!?" asked his wife.
"Why not?" says the husband, "It worked on your ass!"

-Why do brunettes like their dark hair color? It doesn't show the dirt. - Who makes all the bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price-Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes? The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable. - Why are most brunettes flat-chested? It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts. - Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their mustache. - Why is the color brunette considered evil? When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch?-How can you tell a brunette is lonely? Check her for a pulse. - What is the most frustrated animal in the world? A brunette rabbit. - Why do brunettes wear training bras? It's cheaper than changing their Band-Aids every day. - Why did they quit selling brunette Barbie dolls? Parents felt the dandruffmight be contagious. - How do brunettes get the tangles out their hair? With a rake. - Why don't brunettes get breast implants? They've already spent their money on thigh & butt implants. - Why did God create brunettes? So ugly men more...

1. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.
2. What's a brunette's mating call?
"Has the blonde left yet?"
3. What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?
Artifical Stupidity
4. What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.
5. Why don't brunettes get breast implants?
They've already spent their money on thigh and butt implants.

Roger sits down at the counter of his local bar. "Bartender," he says, "give me the bottle of your strongest whiskey."
The bartender laughs, "Sure thing, pal, $150."
He hands Roger the bottle, who instantly begins guzzling it down.
"My God!" said the bartender, "I've never seen anyone drink whisky that fast!"
"Well," said Roger, "I'm actually part of a new medical experiment, you see I have a series of cybernetic implants designed to allow me to handle any amount of alcohol very quickly."
"Is that so?" said the bartender.
"Yes," said Roger, suddenly there is a loud buzzing from his chest.
"That's my metal stomach, codenamed old clanker, adding it to my bloodstream." Another low humming now. "That's my cyborg liver, codenamed old trusty, processing the whiskey." A high pitched whistle came from Roger's lower torso. "That is my titanium kidney, more...

A woman wants to have bigger breasts so she goes to her doctor. The doctor tells her that she could either have implants or wear a special bra. "With the bra," the doctor explains, "when you flap your arms up and down, it will inflate."
Sounding like a much easier process than the implants, she chooses the bra.
The next day she decides to try the bra out, so she goes to a bar where she sees a very attractive man sitting there. Flapping her arms, she strolls over to flirt with him and he promptly starts flapping his legs.
"I see we have the same doctor," he says.