Belgian Jokes

Submitted by Darcy

Twice a week a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border and he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.

Each time the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.

Sometimes they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some illegal item.

They racked their brains but never found anything untoward.

It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene, that they learned the truth.

He had been smuggling bicycles.

A Belgian met a Dutch friend, who was driving a Rolls Royce and spending money like water.
'How did you het so rich?' the Belgian asked.
'I went to Canada, to shoot bears. The fur coats are very expensive.'
'How do you go about shooting bears?'
'It's very simple. You should go there in winter. When you enter a cave you will find a bear. Since it is in hybernation, it is very easy to shoot it.'
Three months later they meet again. This time the Belgian is entirely wrapped in bandages.
'What has happened to you?'
'Well' the Belgian replies: 'I went to Canada, I entered a cave with my gun, and then suddenly... the train came'.

An Englishman, an American and a Belgian were on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg. and they all rushed to the deck in order to abandon the ship.
The Englishman, being the typical gentlemen shouted "Women and children first !!"
The American, being a typical American shouted "Fuck the children !!"
And the Belgian, being a typical belgian asked "Do we have time for that...!?"

An American paratrooper jumped out of a plain. But his parachute did not open. Falling to the ground he saw a black dot moving towards him. He didn't know what it was, until he recognized a man.
' Hello' he shouted' I'm Jim, US Army. Do you know anything about parachutes? '
' Nice to meet you' the man replied' I'm Sjefke (Belgian). But sorry, I don't know anything about parachutes. Do you know anything about gas ovens?'

Three people were standing on the Titanic, An American, a Brit and an belgian. It was almost sinking. The captain told everyone to go into the liveboats. The Brit yelled "Women and children first". The American said "Screw the women and children" and the Belgian answered "Huh, do we have enough time left to do that?"