Boots Jokes / Recent Jokes

Whats a Pussy? After school one day Tod, an eager second-grader, came up to his mother and asked, "Mom, whats a pussy?" Somewhat startled by the question, but directing her answer away from the adult definition, the mother replied, "Son, sometimes people say the word pussy, for short, when they really mean pussycat. You know like Boots, the cat that lives next door. Boots could be called a pussy or better yet, pussycat." That didnt compute with what Tod heard on the playground that day, but he continued, "Mom, what about a bitch? What is a bitch?" She pursued her puritanical theme by answering, "Tod, an adult female dog is commonly referred to as a bitch. But Son, where did you hear such words?" "From the fourth-graders on the playground, Mom," he replied. "I think you should play with your second-grade friends and stay away from those fourth-graders," the mother stated. Later, Tod found his dad working in the garage. He went more...

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
They look silly in polyester.
Why did the reindeer wear black boots?
Because her brown ones were muddy.
How long should a reindeers legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground.
Which reindeer have the smallest legs?
The shortest ones.
Where do you find reindeer?
Depends upon where you leave them.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers!
Why did the reindeer wear brown boots?
Because her black ones were muddy!
Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?
Because he didn't want to be recognized!
What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
Baby reindeer!
What did the Mom Reindeer say to keep her reindeer kids inside?
"Because of the rain... Dear."
Why did the reindeer wear green boots?
Because her blue Gucci pumps were more...

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

'Where is your costume?' the husband asked.

'This is it,' replied his wife.

'What the heck kind of costume is that?' asked the husband.

'Why, I am going as Puss and Boots,' explains the wife.' Now hurry and get your costume on.' The husband went upstairs and was back in about two minutes. He also was completely naked except he had a rose vase slid over his penis.' What the heck kind of costume is that?' asked the wife.

'I am a fire alarm,' he replied.

'A fire alarm?' she repeated laughing.

'Yes,' he replied.' In case of fire break the glass, pull twice and I come.'

Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt.

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were.It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my
boots."She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left more...

There was this man who went to his garden in the country to plant crops. While planting, it began to rain heavily. This man decided to forego his planting for another day since he was getting soaked. On his long trek back home, he saw a van coming along. He stopped the van to ask the driver for a ride home. The kind driver told him yes.
However, as he was about to climb into the back of the van, he realised his boots were dirty with mud. He told himself that he couldn't soiled the kind man's van, so he took out his boots and left them at the side of the road. Then he climbed aboard the van. When he arrived at home, he thanked the driver for the ride. Then, in the rain, he ran all the way back up the country in his barefeet to bring his boots home.

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.' 'So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?''

''Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.''

''That's very interesting,'' replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.' 'So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?''

''Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.''

''That's very interesting,'' replies the researcher.' 'That's how they do it in Cornwall too.'' And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny.' 'So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?''

''Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep more...