Bumper Jokes / Recent Jokes
Don't ya just love the holidays, when everyone is just so full of the spirit of the season and joy and good will towards men? As a plain old country boy now living in the big city, I wanted to share the warmth and joy I felt with all these nice city folk.
The other day I went to the local religious book store, to locate something to share with others, and while I couldn't find any with a Christmas theme, I saw a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car; tell y'all what, I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.
I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the upcoming Holidays and all, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I easily found several people who loved Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because, he leaned out his window and even yelled, "Jesus more...
Recently I was behind a car with three bumper stickers: Don't be fooled by genetically engineered food-demand labels and safety testing for food; Eat for the health of it; and Support organic farmers."
The car was in front of me at a McDonalds drive-through.
If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them.
Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way more...
Cool Bumper Stickers
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
-Horn broken, watch for finger.
-My kid had sex with your honor student.
-If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
-I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
-Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
-I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
-Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading.
-Hang up and drive.
-Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers.
-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
-Suicidal twin kills sister by more...
Cool Bumper Stickers-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. -Horn broken, watch for finger. -My kid had sex with your honor student. -If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished. -I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. -Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. -I'm just driving this way to piss you off. -Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading. -Hang up and drive. -Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. -Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. -If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? -Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. -I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers. -I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. -We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. -Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! -Make it idiotproof and someone will make a better idiot. -I'm not more...
You might be a Republican if...
1. You have a brain
2. You have morales
3. Your bumper sticker say's "Somewhere in Massachusetts a village is missing it's idiot"
4. You totaly agree with everything Foxworthy say's
5. You bought a shotgun and THEN voted against gun control
You might become a republican if...
1. You found a brain
2. You stole someones morales
3. You bought a truck with that bumper sticker and was to lazy to take it off.
4. You're dating a Republicans daughter
5. Actually it was the guy's shotgun that changed you.
You might be a democrat if...
1. You have no brain
2. You have no morales
3. Your bumper sticker say's "eye is ejumucated, u shid bee two"
4. You don't know who Hitler is but think he has a cool name.
5. You think homosexuality is fine, but not for your kids.
You might become a democrat if...
1. You lost your brain
2. Someone stole your morales
3. You can't more...