Buttered Jokes

Then there was the man whose bread fell and landed buttered side up. He ran straight away to his rabbi to report this deviance from one of the basic rules of the universe.
At first the rabbi would not believe him but finally became convinced that it had happened. However, he did not feel qualified to deal with the question and passed it along to one of the world's leading Talmudic scholars.
After months of waiting, the scholar finally came up with an answer: "The bread must have been buttered on the wrong side."

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height,
what would happen?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Q: Why dont blondes like buttered toast? A: They cant figure out which side the butter goes on.

These are responses to a contest sponsored by OMNI magazine:
Grand Prize Winner:
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always
lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of
a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat
array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Runners-up:
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an
infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will
eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This
pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must
yawn to even it out.
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because more...