Calf Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the bees. I won't jump the gun though... I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his young son and said, "Well, son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one, Daddy," gasped the still wide-eyed young boy. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
“Oh, about $200 today, ” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out. ”
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
“Here, ” he said, “is the check for $900. It’s postdated six years from now. ”

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"

Acheson`s Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson
Action`s Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Adler`s Distinction: Language is all that separates us from the lower animals, and from the bureaucrats.
Advertising Rule: In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, that it is curable.
Air Force Inertia Axiom: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
Allen`s Distinction: The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won`t get much sleep. - Woody Allen
Albrecht`s Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.
Alden`s Laws: (1) Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy. (2) Always be backlit. (3) Sit down whenever possible.
Andrea`s Admonition: Never bestow profanity upon a driver who more...