Calf Jokes / Recent Jokes

In February 1993 a train knocked down and injured an elephant calf in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh. When the next train came along an hour later the calf's mother blocked the track, then banged her forehead against the engine for 15 minutes, until it could no longer run. Then she walked off into the jungle again, leaving about 200 passengers stranded for over five hours.
A man driving to work through the southern desert of Saudi Arabia ran over one of a troupe of monkeys. When he made the return trip later that day, the remaining monkeys were waiting for him. They spotted his car, jumped on it, and smashed the windows with their fists.

A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It is post-dated six years from now."

Acheson's Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson
Action's Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Adler's Distinction: Language is all that separates us from the lower animals, and from the bureaucrats.
Advertising Rule: In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, that it is curable.
Air Force Inertia Axiom: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
Allen's Distinction: The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen
Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.
Alden's Laws: (1) Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy. (2) Always be backlit. (3) Sit down whenever possible.
Andrea's Admonition: Never bestow profanity upon a driver who more...

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900, so $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

Farmer John was taking his cow and it's newborn calf to sell in the auction. On the way farmer John got robbed by thieves, who beat him up, stripped him of his clothes and tied him to a tree. Then taking the mother cow and John's clothes, the thieves escaped. They, however, left the newborn calf behind.
Poor farmer John suffered as for two days, he stood tied to a tree, stark naked and hungry. Fortunately, on the third day, some neighbors happened to pass by. They recognized John and untied him.
When they did, farmer John picked up a long stick and started whipping the calf with it.
'Why are you thrashing the poor calf?' his neighbors asked?
To which farmer John replied, 'I had to tell this beast for the past two days repeatedly...I am NOT your mother! I am NOT your mother!!!