Cannibal Jokes / Recent Jokes
A witch joke
How did the witch feel after she was run over by a car?
Tyred!
A cannibal joke
What do cannibal secretaries do with leftover fingernails?
They file them!
A ghost joke
Where do undertakers go in October?
The hearse of the year show!
A vampire joke
What’s a vampire’s favourite dance?
The fangdango!
A Halloween joke
What did the really ugly man do for a living?
He posed for Halloween masks!
A witch joke
How do witches lose weight?
They join weight witches!
A ghost joke
What was written on the hypochondriac’s tombstone?
“I told you I was ill”!
A vampire joke
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
I don’t know but it would slow him down!
A witch joke
How did the witch almost lose her baby?
She didn’t take it far enough into the woods!
A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal mum say to her son who was chasing a missionary?
”Stop playing with your food”!
A witch joke
What do witches race on?
Vroomsticks!
A Halloween joke
How do you get the most apples when bobbing at Halloween Wear a snorkel!
A witch joke
What’s a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north!
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didnt suit his taste!
First cannibal: My wifes a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.
A ghost joke
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!
A vampire joke
What do vampires have at eleven o’clock every day?
A coffin break!
A witch joke
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches?
Because it was an ‘appy rash!
A Halloween joke
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his sister!
A cannibal joke
Why didn’t the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
A witch joke
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!
A witch joke
What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!
A ghost joke
This woman wanted to marry a ghost. I don’t know what possessed her!
A witch joke
Have you heard about the good weather witch?
She’s forecasting sunny spells!
A cannibal joke
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
A witch joke
How do witches tell the time?
By looking at their witch watches!
A vampire joke
What was the Californian vampire hippy like?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul!
A witch joke
What happens if you see twin witches?
You won’t be able to see which witch is witch!
A Halloween joke
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
It was for “tick or tweet”!
The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. "Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are revolting!""You dont have to tell me," said the king. "Im trying to eat them. "Where did we get these slaves anyway?""From the country next door," replied the servant. "We must get a new butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith." "We cant, Your Majesty, shes still cooking for you." "Well, bring her to me once shes crispy enough," said the king.