Chicago Jokes / Recent Jokes
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1, 000 or 1, 500 yards, whichever comes first." Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me." And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." (1996) Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Clemson recruit Ray more...
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
A Chicago couple has named their new baby girl Addison N. Clark in tribute to the streets around Wrigley Field. Which is a much better name than "Wait Til Next Year."
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?" Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?" Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago"." Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks,"Bob, what are you doing?!"Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"
Q.How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead? A. The remote control slips from his hand.
Willy's rolling down the hall of a retirement home actinglike he's driving a car, an orderly turns the corner andasks Willy what he's doing. Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend." The orderly chuckles and enters Bob's room to check on him. He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he is doing, Bob replies,"I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's awayin Chicago."
ATTENTION ALL MICROSOFT HATERS - I have sorted through my tagline manager and have found all of theMicrosoft bashing taglines I can possibly find. Please have yourself a laugh at Bill Gates expense: I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2! "Chicago, Windows 4. 0, Windows 95"?!?!?!? "Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!" #1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!! - Opens new Gates not seen through Windows!. . Bugs come in through open Windows.. . Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of" After seeing Windows I realized Bill Gates is an idiot. Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows. Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3. 1. Bugs come in through Open Windows Chernobyl used Windows Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows! Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door. Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue... Error Loading Windows: (A)bort more...