Click Jokes / Recent Jokes

WINDOWS PROBLEM
I'm wondering if anybody can help me with a problem I'm having on my computer at work.
I recently upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 3. 14159, and I've noticed that whenever I'm running WordWanker Version 2. 0. 9. 4 (which I upgraded from 1. 8. 4. 7) in conjunction with FaxBuddy! Version 4. 2. 4. 3. 7857, everything works fine for about the first 25 minutes, but then if I try to type the passive plupefect subjunctive form of the verb "procreate" (or any of its slang equivalents) the keyboard locks up permanently and the hard drive makes a whimpering sound and all current data is erased, including data in computers several cubicles away. I have tried everything, including reformatting my hard drive and exorcism.
Please help!!! REPLY TO: WINDOWS PROBLEM
I had exactly the same problem, and after a lot of trial and error I found out that if you click on the Windows Control Panel, then on Command Center, then on Reset Variables, then on more...

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the `shut down ` button.
3. There is a button `start` but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is `Run` in the menu. One of my friend clicked `run ` has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to more...

This poem was written by Ken Nagler, an obedience judge and director of the
Canine Training Association in MD.
Now clicker training's quite the fad.
Results from some are not too bad.
The concept stemmed from Pavlov's hound
Responding to some special sound.
The dog would start to salivate
Before he got the food he ate.
The modern click does much the same.
Enhancing our dogtraining game
By causing Fido's hopes to raise-
Anticipating treats or praise.
Sometimes you click to no avail,
And other methods also fail.
No matter how you plead or shout,
Sometimes the dog just won't put out
When asked to sit or heel or stay,
Thus giving you a rotten day.
It makes you feel quite like a fool,
And then you start to lose your cool.
But if your methods fail for you.
There's something else that you can do.
Try "liquor training", that's it's name,
To help you with your dogsport more...

Q: Why does Helen Keller have a yellow leg? A: Her dog is blind also. Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard? A: Neither did she. Q: Why could Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? A: She needed the other hand to moan. Q: What happened when Helen Keller fell down the well? A: She screamed her hands off! You've seen the Helen Keller doll? Wind it up, and it walks into a wall. Ever wonder how Helen Keller could tell the difference between the men's room and the ladies room? She feels her way around. Q: How did Helen Keller burn her ear? A: Answering the iron. Q: How did she burn her other ear? A: They called back. Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? A: You'd run away too if your name was Yeeaawwoaw.(make strange noise)Why did Helen wear skin-tight pants? So her friends could read her lips. How did Helen Keller break her hand? Trying to read the stop sign at 50 mph. HOW DID HELEN KELLER BURN HER FACE? ANSWER: BOBBING FOR FRENCH FRIES! How did Helen more...

First click the Community button.
Then click the Public Fourum button.
The first forum is for writing jokes.
Discuss how to write funny jokes here.

What goes "click click, Is that it?, click click, Is that it?" Steveie Wonder doing a rubik's cube

If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.