Click Jokes / Recent Jokes

The first point and click interface was Smith & Wesson.

Blond's Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only *** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password ****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change more...

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write' click' and I wrote' click'."

There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The eldest brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor, and the youngest got the bottom floor.A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the noise they'd heard last night was. He replied, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his girlfriend the next night. During that night, the two other brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last night was. He replied, "Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."Now, the youngest brother was really excited. more...

The Top 10 Good Error Messages On The Brand New $7000 Computer You Just Bought

"That URL was not found because frankly, I didn' try hard enough."

"If you continue to type that way, you'll get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome."

"The Server is not really down, its just mildly depressed."

"Normally, I would complain but I'll let that rough disk insertion slide this time."

"Don't worry, I'll clean up that beer stain."

"Its not a virus... its a STD(System Transmitted Disease)."

"Remember Einstein, its point then click, point then click."

"That General Protection Fault is not yours."

"You're using MS Word 5. 0 and that's a weenie version so why don't I upgrade you for free?"

"I hate to tell you this but you have already seen that version of the Pamela Anderson video... may I suggest more...

These are stories from help desks around the country.
At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell more...

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer, "yes."
He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shone the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work...
I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into...
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.