Colombo Jokes

When I was following my bachelors degree at colombo university, I met this Guy called"X' I dont wan'to mention his name. we were freshmen at that time.
Once we were at chemistry lab Mr."x" came to me and said, look "s.." my experiment doesnt work what I should do?/. I just Took a glance at his proceedure sheet. It says Add Magnisium Chloride.. add..(now i cannot recall those chemicals its happened in 1993). add.. this and add that and for better results add DROPWISE.. So I said Look, You have to add Dropwise. Go to the proffesor and asked for the Dropwise bottle. He went to the proffesor asked for the dropwise bottle. At that time two other young female Instructors were ther too.
They all said to him look, There is no such a chemical call Dropwise, all you have to do is add those chemicals slowley.. thats what it means. he was so humilated and embarresed, I can still remember how he looked at me with firing eyes. He get to I did that on more...

Once Mr. Ravana held a chief administrator post of an important buddhist instituition in Kandy.
One day a group of foreign delegates visited this historic place and met Mr. Ravana and they had short discussion.
So,.. Mr. Ravana had to say " when Japanese bombing Colombo harbour in 1942 "..... But he pronounced the word "bombing" (B O M B I N G ) wrongly. One of his friends whispered " Mr Ravana,, B is silent" But there were two B s, so he corrected that sentence like. .." when Japanese ombing Colombo harbour in 1942".........

Udurawana went to Colombo for official matter and called to his house over
phone. Servant had taken the receiver.
Udurawana: Who is speaking?
Servant: Servant Sir.
Udurawana: Where is the Madam?
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Udurawana: What? I am her husband came to Colombo today.
Servant: What can I do now sir?
Udurawana: Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back
and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line."
After some time. .. there
come 2 shooting sounds. .. after that. ..
Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?
Udurawana: Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Udurawana: What...? No swimming pool?
Servant: Yes Sir
Udurawana: Sorry, wrong number! !!!!!!!

An American tourist in Colombo found himself needing to take a leak very badly. After a long search he just couldn't find anyplace to relieve himself. So he just went down one of the side streets to take care of business.
Before he could even get unzipped a Colombo police officer said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"
"I gotta go, man," replied the American tourist.
"You can't go here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "whiz away."
The American shrugs, turns, unzips, and starts right on the flowers. "Ahhh. Whew. Thanks. This is very nice of you. Is this Sri Lankan courtesy?" asked the tourist.
"No. This is the American Embassy."

There was sudden increase of demand for the Kotex pads in the Anuradapura district and the sales manager of the company in Colombo was unable to explain why there is a sudden demand even higher than in Colombo City and suburbs. So, he asked a team to go to Anuradapura to investigate it.
The team arrived in a rural area and inquired from a small shop where there was a large stock of pads for sale. Before they could ask a single question several people came and bought kotex pads.
Every one of them asked the shop keeper to give a "Mukkawadam" and shop keeper obliged with a Kotex pad.
The shop keeper finally explained the secrete of demand for pads. He said our farmers in Anuradapura use the pads for providing protection against breathing fumes of poison when they spray pestisides on the crops, using Kotex pads as MUKKAWADAM which has become very popular than for its intended use.