Condom Jokes / Recent Jokes
A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in her hand, "I found this while cleaning your room today.... Are you sexually active?" To which the daughter replies, "No, I just lay there."
Two old women are walking one day and it starts to rain. One of the women takes a condom out of her pocket. The other woman says "what do you have that for?" And, the first woman says "well, when it rains I use condoms to cover my cigarettes so they don't get wet." The other woman says, "oh, that is a good idea!" So she goes to the pharmacy. While there she asks a clerk "where are the condoms?" and the clerk says are you sure YOU want condoms." And she says yes. So the clerk asks her "what size do you want?" And she replies "Um, big enough to fit over a camel."
The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night.
"Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a condom."
The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."
Which condom would you use?
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>Nike Condoms: Just do it.
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>Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
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>Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
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>Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
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>Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
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>Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten millon strong and growing.
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>Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but Ph balanced for a woman.
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>Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
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>Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
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>Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
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>Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
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>New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey... you never know.
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>California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
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>Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
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>KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
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>Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
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>Lays Condoms: more...
What did the Dick say to the Condom?
Cover me im going in!!!
Two nuns were in the back of the convent smoking a cigarette, when one said,
'It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them.'
The second nun said, 'I've found a marvelous invention called a condom which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later.'
The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.
'You get them at a chemist, sister. Just go and ask the pharmacist for them.'
The next day the good sister went to the chemist and walked up to the counter.
'Good morning, sister,' the chemist said, 'what can I do for you today?'
'I'd like some condoms please,' said the nun.
The chemist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked,
'How many boxes would you like? There are 12 to a box.'
'I'll take six more...