Confucious Jokes

Confucious say, he who fart in church sit in own pew.

confucious say...man who wipe ass with vegetation, may turn over new leaf

SHIT HAPPENS in various world religions
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Taoism: Shit happens.
If you can shit, it isn't shit.
Shit happens, so flow with it.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.
Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit happens".
Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen
PROPERLY."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.
Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will
have salvation.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
7th Day Adventism:
Shit happens on Saturdays.
Hinduism: I've seen this shit happening before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of more...

Confucious say, 'It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on!'

Confucious say...
...woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
...man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
...man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
...boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
...man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
...he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
...he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
...woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
...he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
...boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
...girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
...man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
...man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
...he who masturbate, screw only himself!
...he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
...dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!