Conservative Jokes / Recent Jokes
--As punishment for their depravity, they have to hold up American flag backdrop for hours.
As many as 11 million bottles of store-brand acetaminophen, the pain killer, were recalled by the manufacturer today because some of the caplets in the bottles are contaminated with metal fragments.
A worried Rush Limbaugh asked, "But OxyContin is still okay, right?"
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. - Abba Eban A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. - Franklin D. Roosevelt A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home. A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place. A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library. A crisis is when you cannot say “let’s just forget the whole thing. ”
Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. - Abba Eban
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.
A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.
A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.
A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing."
This joke's about the Jewish orthodox, conservative and reform movements. You have to know a bit about them in order to fully appreciate it.
How do you tell if you're at an orthodox, conservative or reform wedding??
At the orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.
At the conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant.
At the reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant.