Convention Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once Upon A Time a man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he
settled in he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the
plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate
would have it she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,
"
Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said,
"
Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in
Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen
sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,
"
What's your business role at this convention?"
She smiled and responded,
"
Lecturer. I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have
learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular
myths about more...

A recent admittee to the bar accepted a job at a prestigious law firm in Los Angeles. Many law firms competed for the new attorney because of his top class ranking and because of his well-known wit and intellect as shown while he was editor of his school’s law review.
The new attorney packed his bags and boarded a flight to Los Angeles. As the attorney is stowing his carry on luggage in the overhead compartment, he notices a very attractive woman coming down the aisle towards him. The attorney takes his seat just as the woman stops, checks her seat assignment and sits down right next to him. The attorney is on cloud nine. Three hours sitting next to a goddess. It was sheer heaven the attorney thought to himself.

Eager to strike up a conversation with the woman, he asks “Business or vacation? ” With a warm smile the woman turns towards him and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in L. A. ” The young attorney can’t believe his more...

A Man comes home and sits down on the couch, He then asks his wife to get him a beer. She replies " I was at a Womens Lib. convention and they said I dont have to get it if I dont want." So the man gets his own beer.
Then He says, "Honey whats for dinner?" She replies once again "I was at a Womens Lib. convention and they said I dont have to make you dinner when you are hungry." Fine He says and makes dinner himself.
The Man then says fine you won't see me for 2 weeks!!!!
About two weeks later she was able to open one eye!

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled, and said,
"Business. The annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,
"What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the
popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he said. "What myths are
those?"
"Well," she explained. "One popular
myth is that African more...

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention". The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcastmedia here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh - everyone is disheartened - the more...

"I just got Shatner to autograph my tush!"
"I think you're right, the hot chicks hang out at the X-Files convention."
"OK, a Vulcan, a Betazoid and a Klingon walk into a bar..."
"But Ma - you said I could have my own phaser when I turned 40!"
"Oh darn, James Doohan is stuck in the door again."
"OK, men, set your phasers on zit-removal, and let's go get us some chicks."
"Not to boast, but I played the unnamed, red-shirted security guy in the
landing party killed in episodes 4, 7, 15 and 29."
"No, really, Fibercon IS better than Metamucil."
"Wow! Two girls! That's twice as many as we had at the 20th-anniversary
convention!"
"Live long and purchase."

A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or vacation?" "Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago," she states.
Whoa!!! He swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer", she says. "I use my experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explains, "one more...