Cousin Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hi y'all... muh name id's Bubba and dis is muh fameily: Furst is me... Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I love being a babe hound. Girls make spit roll down my chin. I have a stomach problem and fart alot. My Mom has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day. My brother Hank is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances. My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over and they leak yellow stuff on the furniture. The flies are terrible. My mom says she is almost positive this is who my Dad is. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are gonna go fishing. The blood stains inside my Dads truck are almost all gone! My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy more...
Bubba was at the police station explaining to the officer why his cousin shot him.
"We wuz havin' us a real good time drinkin'," he explained, "when my cousin Billy Bob picked up his rifle and asked us fellas if we wanna go huntin'."
"Ok," then what happened?" the officer asked.
"That's when I stood up and said, 'Sure. I'm game'."
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother.............................. Please Gogh His dizzy aunt..................................... Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes.......................... Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle.............................. Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store....... Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia..................... U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white.......... Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois............................ Chica Gogh His magician uncle.................................. Wherediddy Gogh His Italian uncle....................................... Day Gogh His Mexican cousin.................................. Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother.......... Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach................. Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing more...
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His obnoxious brother...................Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt...................................Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes..........Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store.....Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia........U Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white........Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois.................Chica Gogh
His magician uncle................Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin...............Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother.....Grin Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach......Wellsfar Gogh
The constipated uncle.................Cant Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt.........Tan Gogh
The bird lover uncle.................Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst.........E Gogh
The fruit loving more...
Dearn Ann:
I am facing a very serious problem. You see, I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. Marines, and I have a cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother peddles Nazi literature to Girl Scouts and my father (a former dentist) is in jail for 30 years for raping most of his patients while they were under anesthesia.
The sole supports of our large family, including myself and my $500-a-week heroin habit, are my uncle (master pick-pocket, Benny "The Fingers"), my 70-year-old aunt Hester (a shoplifter), and my two kid sisters, who are well-known streetwalkers.
My problem is this: I have just gotten engaged to the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world. She is just sweet sixteen, and we are going to marry as soon as she can escape from reform school.
To support ourselves, we are going to move to Mexico and start a fake Aztec souvenir factory staffed by child labor. We look forward to bringing our kids into the family business.
But I am worried that more...
Dearn Ann:I am facing a very serious problem. You see, I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. Marines, and I have a cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother peddles Nazi literature to Girl Scouts and my father (a former dentist) is in jail for 30 years for raping most of his patients while they were under anesthesia.The sole supports of our large family, including myself and my $500-a-week heroin habit, are my uncle (master pick-pocket, Benny "The Fingers"), my 70-year-old aunt Hester (a shoplifter), and my two kid sisters, who are well-known streetwalkers.My problem is this: I have just gotten engaged to the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world. She is just sweet sixteen, and we are going to marry as soon as she can escape from reform school.To support ourselves, we are going to move to Mexico and start a fake Aztec souvenir factory staffed by child labor. We look forward to bringing our kids into the family business.But I am worried that my family will not make more...