Cousin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won'tattack you if you carry a flashlight?"The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fast yacarry the flashlight."

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Cousin!
Cousin who?
Cousin stead of opening the door I'm still stood here!

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?" "Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."

HEY HEY HEY Viper's in the fun house
with another joke!!!
See I've been doing some serious study into
Van Gough coz I wanted to know why the hell
anyone would chop off their ear. I guess
he just wanted an earing but went too far.
Anyway here's his family!
His obnoxious brother.......................... Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt. ............................... Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes..................... Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store..... Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia.............. U Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white...... Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois................... Chica Gogh
His magician uncle............................ Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin............................. Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother..... Grin Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach. ........ Wellsfar Gogh
The more...

NAME: ___________________________________ C.B. HANDLE: ____________________ ADDRESS: (R.F.D. - H.C.R.) _________________________________________________ DADDY (If unknown, attach list of 3 suspects): _____________________________ MAMA: ______________________________________________________________________ NECK SHADE: ( ) LIGHT RED ( ) MEDIUM RED ( ) DARK RED NUMBER OF TEETH EXPOSED IN FULL GRIN: _______ UPPER: _______ LOWER: _______ MAKE OF PICKUP OWNED: _____________________ SIZE OF TIRES: ________________ NUMBER OF EMPTY BEER CANS ON FLOOR OF PICKUP: ______________________________ TRUCK EQUIPPED WITH: ( ) GUN RACK ( ) MUD FLAPS ( ) CAMPER TOP ( ) AIR HORN ( ) 8 TRACK ( ) 4 WHEEL DRIVE ( ) AMERICAN FLAG ( ) RUST ( ) FUZZ BUSTER ( ) LOAD OF WOOD ( ) HIJACK SHOCKS ( ) MUD TIRES ( ) SPITTOON ( ) RUNNING BOARDS ( ) C.B. ANTENNAS ( ) ROLL BAR BUMPER STICKERS: ( ) HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY ( ) HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS ( ) ALMOST HEAVEN, BUCKSPORT ( ) SNATCH KISSES AND VICE VERSA ( ) OLD FART ( ) more...

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...