Cream Jokes / Recent Jokes

The cheif instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."
The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
"Well - just take a larger pot!"

Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams
A. In floatsQ: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur!Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
A: Ice CreamQ: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate.""In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.""You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate.""Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell' van,' as in' vanilla?'"The man spells, "V A N.""Now spell' straw,' as in' strawberry.'""OK. S-T-R-A-W.""Now," the girl asked, "spell' stink,' as in chocolate."The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate.""That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.

This is a weird but true story (with a moral). .. A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds:' What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start more...

Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"

The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."