Downtown Jokes

The abbot of a nearby abbey was out in the nearby city running errands
downtown when he saw a woman of questionable character say to a passerby,
"Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the passerby and the woman promptly
went down the next alley, where they went out of view.
The abbot was perplexed, for the very same thing occurred at another
streetcorner in the city. He was walking down a sidewalk, when another woman,
much the same as the first, stated to another passerby, "Twenty bucks for a
blowjob," at which point the two rapidly went into a nearby alley, where
the abbot couldn't see what was going on. Still not knowing what a "blowjob"
was, the abbot left the city as naive as he was upon entering it.
Back up the hill, the abbot was still contemplating what a blowjob was, so
he went to see the mother superior at the adjacent convent. "Mother
superior," he asked, "what's a more...

A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to "go downtown" so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business.
After about five minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved voice, "Well, just what are you doing?" She replies, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no money!!"

There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. As they were laying there side by side the $1 dollar bill said to the $20 dollar bill, "Hey mannnnnn, where have you been. I haven't seen you in a long time? "

The $20 dollar bill replied, "Man I have been having a ball!! I been traveling to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that I just newly built. In fact, just this week I've been to Europe, a professional NBA game, Rodeo Drive, the all day retreat spa,, the top-notch hair salon and the new casino!! I have done it all!!! "

After describing his great travels, the $20 dollar bill asked the $1 dollar bill, " What about you? Where have you been?" The $1 dollar replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist more...

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the News Stand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments.
I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than write a retired person a ticket?
Why aren't you out chasing crooks or child molesters... that's out of your league, obviously!!!
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a' Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him' Barney Fife'. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care....

I came downtown on the more...

A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"