Edition Jokes / Recent Jokes

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the West Virginia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside West Virginia. If you have one of the West Virginia editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The West Virginia edtion may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
And instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Other features:
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes D shore
no = naaaaa
find = more...

(Forwarded by an American friend of Italian descent).
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a floating body. It is shipped with a 'NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled 'Garbitch'
My Computer is called 'My Freakin Computer,'
Dialup Networking is called 'Good Fellas',
Control Panel is known as the 'da Tote Board,'
Hard Drive is referred to as 'da trunk', and...
Floppies are them 'little Freakin plastic disc tings'.
Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
OTHER FEATURES:
WINDOWS 98WINDAS 98
OKdo it I tell ya
Cancelhell more...

Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs. Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. OK = ats aww-right cancel = hail no reset = awa shoot yes = shore no = Naaaa find = hunt-fer it go to = over yonder back = back yonder help = hep me out here stop = ternit off start = crank it up settings = sittins programs = stuff at does more...

A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed. It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver. Other differentiating features: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse" My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive" Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs" Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION: OK. . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right Cancel. . . . . . . stopdat Reset. . . . . . . try er agin Yes. . . . . . . . . yep No. . . . . . . . . . noop Find. . . . . . . . . hunt fer it Go to.. . . . . . . over yonder Back. . . . . . . . back yonder Help. . . . . . . . hep me out here Stop. . . . . . . . kwitit Start. . . . . . . crank more...

Some more terms for the TECHNO OFFICE DICTIONARY

Perot To quit unexpectedly, as in' My cellular phone just perot'ed.'

CLM (Career-Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Treeware Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Dead Tree Edition The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms, as in:' The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle...'

Dilberted To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.' I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.'

World Wide Wait The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome Feelings of more...

(A friend of mine says this is original. For more information, call the
Bobdo BBS at 215-386-0350.)
Did you hear-they're coming out with a new Catholic edition of Playboy?
It has the same centerfold as the regular edition, but you have to pull it
out at just the right moment.

404
someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located - Don't bother asking him, he's 404.
Adminisphere
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rack and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Blamestorming
sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Brain Fart
A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information more...