Election Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rep. Barney Frank was re-elected to his 15th term by the people of the 4th district of Massachusetts. Fortunately for Frank, most of the people in his district did not vote a "straight ticket."

Al Gore's wife held a press conference today at the White House where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Al, and wearing no panties.
Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush"

California Democrat Francine Busby was caught telling a Latino audience, "You don't need papers for voting."
Busby was immediately corrected by Florida Republican Katherine Harris, who said, "You're supposed to tell blacks they aren't allowed to vote."

We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage. When you, the people of the U. S., promise to stop sending usyour old people, we will release your election.

The U.N. General Assembly declared on Monday that Afghanistan's presidential election was both credible and sound, despite allegations of ACORN voter-registration fraud.

Despite the country being in the worst economic circumstances in three-quarters of a century, Barack Obama’s inauguration will cost more than $170 million.
“The money is going toward providing events which we hope are going to connect people, make them feel like we are all in this together” said Linda Douglass, spokeswoman for the inaugural committee.
Group "events" include freezing your ass off together outside the homes you no longer own, and dividing up empty soda cans.
The last time I connected people, it cost me a case of beer, a few bags of Pepperidge Farm cookies, and a Kool and the Gang cd.

Today's inauguration was attended by more than a million people. Suprisingly, there were only a a few problems. Ten people got frostbite, five people fainted, and Dick Cheney ran over three lawyers.