Entry-level Jokes

ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:
You'll be making under $7 an hour.
ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:
You'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:
Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:
Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
IMMEDIATE OPENING:
The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a lot of turnover.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind more...

ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:You'll be making under $6 an hour.- - - - -"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY":You're paid under $6 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.- - - - -"AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANY":There's no chance in hell we'll be the next Microsoft.- - - - -"PROFIT-SHARING PLAN":Once it's shared among the brass, you get what's left.- - - - -"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.- - - - -"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"We have no time to train you. (and/or)Please introduce yourself to your co-workers.- - - - -"NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:"Inc. Magazine mentioned us in an article a few years ago.- - - - -"IMMEDIATE OPENING:"The person who had this job gave notice a month ago.We're just now running the ad.- - - - -"SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:"We're can't supply you with leads; (and/or)there's no base salary to speak of; more...

ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:You'll be making under $7 an hour.ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:You'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.COMPETITIVE SALARY:We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.IMMEDIATE OPENING:The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:We have a lot of turnover.MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:Some time each night and some time each more...

Here is a table of terms used by headhunters and orher people who are hiring new folks:
ENTRY-LEVEL POSITIONYou'll be making under $7 an hour.
ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANYYou'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANYWe want you to get your hopes up, but there's no chance in hell we'll be the next Microsoft.
PROFIT-SHARING PLANOnce it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.
COMPETITIVE SALARYWe remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANYWe have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADERInc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
IMMEDIATE OPENINGThe person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTERWe're not going to supply you with more...

"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION":
You'll be making under $6 an hour.
- - - - -
"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY":
You're paid under $6 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
- - - - -
"AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANY":
There's no chance in hell we'll be the next Microsoft.
- - - - -
"PROFIT-SHARING PLAN":
Once it's shared among the brass, you get what's left.
- - - - -
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
- - - - -
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you. (and/or)
Please introduce yourself to your co-workers.
- - - - -
"NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:"
Inc. Magazine mentioned us in an article a few years ago.
- - - - -
"IMMEDIATE OPENING:"
The person who had this job gave notice a month ago.
We're just now running the ad.
- - - - more...