Fighting Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mr. Richman has 3daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy. One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazywhen to the policeman and she said"Nobody and Somebody are fighting" Thenthe policeman look at her then he said "What are youtalking about?" Then she said again "Nobody and Somebody are fighting"Then the policeman said "What? Are you crazy?" Then she said "Yes but howdid you know my name?"
A man was tired of the city life so he decided to move way out in the country where he would have all the room and privacy that he needed. His house was at least 35 miles from everything and everyone. No one ever came to visit and he never went to visit anyone.
After about the sixth month at his new home, he began to get a little lonesome and wondered if he'd really made the right move. That evening while he sat in his rocking chair on his front porch, he noticed someone walking along his long, secluded driveway towards his house. He quickly approached the strange man and asked what he needed.
The stranger stated that he was a neighbor that lived just beyond the far hill and that he was having a party that night and would like to invite him. The man quickly accepted the neighbors offer and was relieved to finally have some company.
Before the neighbor left, he told the man, "You better let me warn you about something. At this party, there's probably going to be more...
' William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door,' said mum.
' yes, but they're twins, so I wanted some way to tell the apart.'
One day a doctor walks in the hospital for the Mentaly Insane. As he walks in, he sees 2 guys in seperate beds by them selves. As he approched the first one, the guy starts to act like he is flying an airplane with a dazed look on his face. The doctor asks, Sir, what seems to be the trouble? The guy replies, Well Sir, i am back in the war fighting the Japs in my fighter plane! The Doctor replies,
Well Good Luck Son. The doctor looks across the room at the other gentelman lying in bed.
As the doctor approches, this guy starts to hump vigorously in bed by himself,...like he was having sex! The doctor asks, Sir What is the matter with you?
The guy replies, Well Sir,...While that feller over there is back in the war in his fighter plane fighting the Japs... I am at his house fucking his wife!
Rocky (2-27-2003)
Watching from the Club house overlooking the 10th green, we saw a foursome approaching. Having marked their balls, suddenly one of the guys fell down and the three others started a fist fight. The Golf Captain stormed out from the Club house to separate the fighting men. "Why are you fighting?" he asked "You see," said one of them, "my partner had a stroke and died just now, and these buggers want to include it on the scorecard."
The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body.The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.
Two neighbors had been fighting each other fornigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane andteaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use thebathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and ahalf of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; beingignored all the while, a semi pulls up in frontof Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.