Fighting Jokes / Recent Jokes
While President Obama is fighting the health care issues, Bo the first dog will be fighting the health care issues for dog victims of Michael Vick!
A man was tired of the city life so he decided to move way out in the country where he would have all the room and privacy that he needed. His house was at least 35 miles from everything and everyone. No one ever came to visit and he never went to visit anyone. After about the sixth month at his new home, he began to get a little lonesome and wondered if he'd really made the right move.
That evening while he sat in his rocking chair on his front porch, he noticed someone walking along his long, secluded driveway towards his house. He quickly approached the strange man and asked what he needed.
The stranger stated that he was a neighbor that lived just beyond the far hill and that he was having a party that night and would like to invite him. The man quickly accepted the neighbors offer and was relived to finally have some company. Before the neighbor left, he told the man, "You better let me warn you about something. At this party, there's probably going to be some more...
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Little Johnny was receiving a severe scolding from his mother for fighting with his best friend.
"Johnny, I'm ashamed of you," his mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!"
"But, Mom," Little Johnny argued, "he threw a rock at me, so I threw one at him."
"When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me," his mother scolded.
"What good would that have done?" Little Johnny grumbled. "My aim's better than yours!"
"Terrorist training camps looked a lot nicer in the brochure"
"I didn't join the Taliban, I was interning for the Taliban"
"I lost a Super Bowl bet"
"Dazzled by the Taliban commercials that aired during one of Kathie Lee's Ramadan specials"
"What kid doesn't grow up dreaming of being the next Mullah Omar?"
"Al Qaeda? Oh man, I thought I was fighting for Ralph Nader"
"Since when is fighting against your country with an evil terrorist regime considered treason?"
"Got tired of wearing clean clothes and not getting shot at"
"Like you've never joined an international terrorist ring!"
"Oh, I thought this was a paintball game"
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