Fighting Jokes / Recent Jokes
The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person." The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me." So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses. Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.." He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up. The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body. The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.
The policeman was walking his beat when he saw two men fighting and a little boy standing alongside them crying, "Daddy, Daddy!"
The officer pulled the two men apart and, turning to the boy asked, "Which one is your father, lad?"
"I don't know," the boy said, rubbing the tears from his eyes. "That's what they're fighting about!"
Dear Jokers who provide Yo mama jokes,
Please do not post yo mama jokes previously posted in this Joke Page.
It's a waste of your time, our time and bandwith.
Please read the following collection of YO MAMA SO FAT' jokes. Future
jokers, read this and if you can find something new about the fat mama
then submit your joke. (OLD MAMA, TALL MAMA, POOR MAMA etc.
will follow)
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat. . . she's fat!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat I'm more...
There were 3 friends. Their names were SOMEBODY, NOBODY & MAD. One day they started fighting for some reason. Then mad called the police and said that somebody is fighting with nobody.
The police said are u mad, he replied, yes I am mad.
Two guys decided to go buy two pigs. So after they bought them they wanted to know which one was who's.
So they went to the barn but when they got there the two pigs were fighting. After they broke them up one pig was missing a ear. So one guy said, "What are we going to do now?"
So after they thought about it for a while they went back to the barn. When they got there the pigs were fighting again. After they broke them up one pig was missing a tail. So the guy said, ''What now?''
After they thought about it for a while they went back to the barn. The pigs were fighting again. After they broke them up one pig was missing a leg. So the guy said, ''What now?'' The other guy said, "FUCK IT! I get the white one and you get the black one."
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
I wrote these for our campus humor paper before Christmas break. Some are
UCSD specific, like our new rule banning "fighting words." Some were written
before Romania revolted. And some might be offensive. Bearing that in
mind...
The first arrest under the new "fighting words" policy was made. A
reggae group performing in the Price Center was arrested after singing a song
calling for the end to apartheid in South Africa and whipping up student
fervor. A spokesperson for the police said that the Regents could not tolerate
anyone claiming the world wasn't as kind and gentle as President Bush had
officially declared it was.
The federal government completed the phasing out of lobbying in Congress,
calling it a serious breach of democracy and not in the best interests of the
nation. It will be replaced by a series of public auctions where both
senators' and representatives' votes will be sold to the highest more...