Fragments Jokes

15 Steps to Build a campfire.
1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
2. Bandage left thumb.
3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
4. Bandage left foot.
5. Make structure of slivers(including those embedded in hand).
6. Light match.
7. Light match.
8. Repeat "a scout is cheerful," and light match.
9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of flames.
10. Apply Burn ointment to nose.
11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
12. Upon discovery that fire has gone out during your absence, soak wood with liquid from can labeled "kerosene."
13. Treat face and arms for second degree burns, and relabel your can to read "gasoline."
14. When fire is burning well, add all remaining wood.
15. When thunderstorm has passed, repeat steps 1 through 14.

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Six yards of soggy ribbon,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window more...

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Six yards of soggy ribbon,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured more...