Fuel Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple of airplane mechanics are kicked out of the local bar and,
with no place else to go, end up in the hanger at SFO. One of them
says to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?" "Nah, but I
hear you can drink jet fuel - that'll kinda give you a buzz."
So they get smashed and have a beautiful time; like only drinking
buddies can do. The following morning, one of them wakes up and he
knows his head will explode if he gets up. But It doesn't. He gets up
and feels good, in fact he feels great - NO hangover! The phone
rings, it's his buddy. the buddy says "Hey, how do you feel?"
He said, "I feel great!!, and the buddy says, "I feel great too! You
don't have a hangover?" and he says "No - that jet fuel is great stuff
- no hangover - we ought to do this more often" "Yeah, we could, but
there's just one thing....
Did you fart yet?"
"No... more...

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous.Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around,rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"To this, the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane."The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it."Simple," replies the pilot, more...

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning, Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! No hangover! NO bad side effects, Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - nothing." "We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well, there's just one thing...." "What's that?" "Have more...

Two nuns of Christian Mission in the city were cruising leisurely along one misty morning in their Mission's newly acquired Maruti Gypsy when they ran out of fuel. The driver of a passing lorry agreed to give enough petrol, to enable them to proceed to the nearest petrol station. The only container the nuns had with them was a bedpan, and they collected the petrol in it. While filling the tank, a car came by and stopped. Its driver, a good-looking, well-dressed young man got out and came over. Cheerfully, he said, "Young ladies, any trouble? Any help needed?" The nuns replied, "Thank you, Sir, we ran out of fuel, we are just filling our tank." The young man "Stood looking for a second, stunned. He threw his hands up and said, "Oh, glory be to the Lord... faith, nothing but faith."

There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer,
a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer
engineer.
The car breaks down.
"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip
down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the
mechanical engineer.
"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the
fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel
system."
"I thought it might be a grounding problem", says the electrical
engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."
They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and
say: "Well, what to you think?"
"Ummm - perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in
again?"

If brains were fuel, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the edge of a penny.

Pilot: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!"Pilot: "Uh... tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."