Glenn Jokes / Recent Jokes

This a new month. Which means it's time to once again look at the things people do in search of a buck. Yep, it's Weird Business News.
Our Best Stock Symbol Award this time to Schlotzsky's, the Austin-based sandwich shop chain. You can find its price on the Nasdaq listings under BUNZ.
The Best Millennium Event for Elvis Fans - the 1999 Millennium Elvis Week Aug. 8 through 16 at Memphis, in which Elvis will be recognized - albeit by the people who make and sell his records - as the "Artist of the Century."
Our It Sounds Dirty Even If It Isn't Award to Douglas R. Nappi, a vice president for government relations at the New York Stock Exchange. Nappi was complaining about those who hack into sites that provide stock quotes without paying for the service. Nappi calls it "quote sucking."
The One Million and One Uses for Duct Tape Award to former astronaut and U.S. Sen. John Glenn. In a recent speech in Avon, Ohio, Glenn revealed that astronauts have used more...

1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

1970: Keg.
2000: EKG.

1970: Acid Rock.
2000: Acid Reflux.

1970: Moving to California because it's cool.
2000: Moving to California because it's warm.

1970: Growing pot.
2000: Growing pot belly.

1970: Douglas Street bridge.
2000: Dental bridge.

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

1970: Seeds and stems.
2000: Roughage.

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2000: Popping joints.

1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

1970: more...

Isn't this the truth!...

1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

1970: Keg.
2000: EKG.

1970: Acid Rock.
2000: Acid Reflux.

1970: Moving to California because it's cool.
2000: Moving to California because it's warm.

1970: Growing pot.
2000: Growing pot belly.

1970: Douglas Street bridge.
2000: Dental bridge.

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

1970: Seeds and stems.
2000: Roughage.

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2000: Popping joints.

1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
2000: Our president's struggle with more...

Old & New concerns for the baby boomers: Then: Long hair. Now: Longing for hair. Then: KegNow: EKG. Then: Acid rockNow: Acid reflux. Then: Moving to California because it's cool. Now: Moving to California because it's hot. Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids. Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Then: Seeds and stems. Now: Roughage. Then: Popping pills, smoking joints. Now: Popping joints. Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel. Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity. Then: Paar. Now: AARP. Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine. Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine. Then: Killer weed. Now: Weed killer. Then: Hoping for a BMW. Now: Hoping for a BM. Then: The Grateful Dead. Now: Dr. Kevorkian. Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint. Now: Getting a new hip joint.

Top 10 Reasons No One Wants to go into Space with John Glenn again: 10. The horror of seeing the effects of G-Forces on wrinkles. 9. Kept using the Hubble to find his glasses. 8. Everytime he sneezed, his teeth flew out. 7. Forgot where he was each morning, kept grabbing for Scott while callinghim "Annie". 6. Constantly complaining about being "Stiff all over" while eyeingChiaki. 5. Couldn't get him to stop doing the "Viagra" experiment. 4. When warned, "There's a Meteor Shower ahead", he thought they said,"Shower cause he'd peed the bed". 3. Couldn't seem to ever attach his urinal bag properly. 2. There's a real good reason why we call old men "Old Farts". 1. The Prunetang worked, but the Depends didn't.

Glenn Davis broke his thumb after wrestling with a childhood friend in the backseat of his car. We're amazed that Glenn Davis can fit in the backseat of a car.

Isn't this the truth!...1970: Long Hair2000: Longing for hair1970: The perfect high.2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.1970: Keg.2000: EKG.1970: Acid Rock.2000: Acid Reflux.1970: Moving to California because it's cool.2000: Moving to California because it's warm.1970: Growing pot.2000: Growing pot belly.1970: Douglas Street bridge.2000: Dental bridge.1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.1970: Seeds and stems.2000: Roughage.1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.2000: Popping joints.1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel.2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity.1970: Paar.2000: AARP.1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine.2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine.1970: Killer weed.2000: Weed killer.1970: Hoping for a BMW.2000: Hoping for a BM.1970: The Grateful more...