Gorilla Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money? It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!
Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!
He sits down at the bar. The bartender thinks, as he walks towards the gorilla, "Hey, that's a gorilla. He's probably pretty dumb... I can charge him a lot for his drink, and he won't know the difference!""What'll you have?" the bartender asks the gorilla."I'll have a gin and tonic.""Coming right up." The bartender makes the drink and sets it in front of the gorilla. "That'll be $13.50."The gorilla pulls out his wallet and pays the bartender.It's kind of a slow night, so the bartender starts to make small talk with the gorilla. "You know," he said, "we don't get many gorillas in here."The gorilla says, "Well, at these prices, I can believe it!"
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared,' Who is the king of the jungle?'and the deer replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared,' Who is the king of the jungle?' and the zebra replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant.' Who is the king of the jungle?' he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,' Okay, okay, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer.'
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: They have big fingers.
Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!
While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the man senseless. When the man came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F*ck you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it more...