Hacking Jokes

Two guys are out one day golfing. One slices off to the right, one hooks off to the left and they both go to retrieve their balls. The guy on the right is hacking and hacking at the ball but just can't lift it out of the buttercups. It has become lodged in. All of a sudden, up from the ground comes Mother Nature and is she mad!

"What the hell are you doing to my beautiful buttercups?" she asks.

"I'm just trying to get my golf ball out of them, lady", replies the golfer.

"Well, you are really making me mad. Just look what you've done to my buttercups. For this I must punish you. Your punishment will be an entire year without butter!!"

The golfer starts laughing hysterically which by now has just about worn out Mother Nature's patience.

"What in the hell do you think is so funny about no butter for a year?" she screams at him.

"I'm not laughing about that - I'm laughing about more...

The Stanford Law Review runs the following quote on their masthead:
"For every thousand people hacking at the leaves of evil there
is one chopping at the roots."
-H.D. Thoreau
On their April Fools issue they ran the following:
"For every person hacking at the leaves of evil there are a thousand
smoking the stuff."

A Princeton University computer science professor added new fuel Wednesday to claims that electronic voting machines used across much of the country are vulnerable to hacking.
The marketing director for the machine's maker - Diebold Election Systems of Allen, Texas - blasted the report, saying the professor ignored newer security measures that prevent such hacking, like candidates so shitty and issues so inane no one would take the time to vote for them in the first place.

On the 1st day of Christmas AOL gave to me……..
unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 2nd day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 3rd day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
3 Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 4th day of Christmas AOL gave to me…….
4 frozen screens, 3 Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 5th day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
5 Chat Room brawls!!! 4 frozen screens, 3 Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited
hours with a flat fee.
On the 6th day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
6 snerts annoying, 5 Chat Room brawls!!! 4 frozen screens, 3 Emails, 2 buddy
lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 7th day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
7 hackers hacking, 6 snerts annoying, 5 Chat Room brawls!!! 4 frozen screens, 3
Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a more...