Hockey Jokes / Recent Jokes

You Might be a Michigander...
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding...
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake...
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any
sport!)...
If snow tires come standard on all your cars...
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry...
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
If you can identify an Ohio accent...
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town...
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your
bike...
If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder...
If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you
grew up...
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is...
If someone aks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've
been to Ann Arbor"...
If more...

Andrew came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Justin, noticed his condition and asked Andy what happened.
Andy replied, “Oh, nothing, really. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while. ”
Justin remarked, “Gee, I never even knew that you played hockey. ”
“No, Justin, I don’t, ” replied Andy. “I hurt my leg last year when I lost $500 on the Stanley Cup play-offs - I put my foot through the television set. ”

Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened.

Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while."

Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey."

Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I put my foot through the television."

Why can't girls play hockey?
Because they have to change their pads every period!

Why can't girls play hockey? Because they have to change their pads every period!

Did you hear how the Polish hockey team drowned? Spring training.

Top ten reasons why hockey is better than sex - seen in a collegiate women's hockey club program
The protective equipment is reusable, and you don't even have to wash it.
It's legal to play hockey professionally.
The puck is ALWAYS hard.
Because there's no body checking, you can't get pregnant except in most unusual circumstances.
It lasts a full hour.
You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
Your parents cheer when you score.
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommmon.
Periods last only 15 minutes.
You can count on it at least twice a week.
You can tell your friends about it afterward.
Yes, I realize there are 11 reasons, but the claim is that it is a top ten list. Wendy Istvanick UW-Madison - Go Badgers!!!