Hockey Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Stanley Cup champion Red Wings were honored at the White House. Before they left, President Bush asked goalie Chris Osgood if he'd stand between him and the media.

Heard about the Polish hockey team? They all drowned in spring training.

As is known, there is a large leper colony in Hawaii. To help ease the pain the patients have while there, a hockey rink was built to provide them entertainment. Only problem was that only one game ever got played on the rink. Within two minutes of game time, there was a face off in the corner.

My roommate and I often play a game called "Fantasy Fist Fight." We got the idea from an episode of "Venture Bros." in which two of The Monarch's henchmen argue whether Lizzie Borden could beat up Anne Frank. To play, you choose anyone or anything: living, dead, real, not real, human, inhuman, and pit them against each other in a no-holds barred fight to the finish. Test your fantasy fist fight knowledge below!
1) Boba Fett Vs. Dog the Bounty Hunter
2) David Bowie Vs. The Marquis De Sade
3) Keith Moon Vs. The Loch Ness Monster (Moon gets a broadsword)


answers:
1) Boba Fett has a reputation for fighting to the finish, while Dog is older and would probably weaken first. Fett has galactic bounty hunter training while Dog only takes down fat polonesian dudes. Fett wins and Dog is brought to Cloud City in Carbonite.
2) Bowie holds up well for a while, but is ultimately overtaken by the Marquis' drive to kill Bowie and masturbate into more...

The NHL may be creating a new contest to energize its fans. The first fan that can actually locate a channel airing an NHL playoff game wins.

What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.