Hogs Jokes / Recent Jokes

My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a checkfor $1, 000. 00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want togo into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind offarm not to raise hogs on and what is the best breed of hogs not toraise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keepingwith all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raiserazorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I wouldjust as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping anaccurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of thebusiness. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and thebest he ever made on them was $442. 00 in 1968, until this year when hegot your check for $1, 000. 00 for not raising hogs. If I get $1, 000. 00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2, more...

The following letter, reprinted with permission from the Herbal
Spotlight (Hubble Hill Herbs, PO Box 2083, Loveland, CO 80539),
was received by the Secretary of Agriculture.
Dear Sir:
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Ute, Iowa, received a check for
$1000.00 from the government for not raising 50 hogs. So, I want
to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of
farm not to raise hogs on, and what kind is the best breed of hogs
not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in
keeping with all the government policies. I would very much prefer
not to raise Razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to
raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an
accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the more...

My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a checkfor $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want togo into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind offarm not to raise hogs on and what is the best breed of hogs not toraise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keepingwith all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raiserazorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I wouldjust as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping anaccurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of thebusiness. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and thebest he ever made on them was $442.00 in 1968, until this year when hegot your check for $1,000.00 for not raising hogs. If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000.00 more...

ATTENTION: All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D. C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed. 2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks). 3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle. 4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon. 5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops. 6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't more...

ATTENTION:
All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff
1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.
2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks).
3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle.
4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon.
5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops.
6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or more...

ATTENTION :All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks).3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle.4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon.5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops.6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't feed, more...