Homework Jokes / Recent Jokes
The teacher tells the class to put the word contagious into a sentence for homework.
The next day the teacher asks Mary to say her sentence to the class. She says " There are diseases in Africa that are very contagious". The teacher tells her that was very good. The teacher asks Brendan to tell his sentence to the class. He says "My granny has a very contagious disease". The teacher tells him that was a good sentence. Then the teacher asks Johnny to tell his sentence to the class. He says " My mammy told me never to ask daddy to cut the lawn because it takes the cunt ages".
School Jokes DownUp +2 Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one
A boy is assigned homework to have his parents read him a bedtime story. Upon reaching home, his father reads him a variation of the "Three Little Pigs." The story covered everything from the threat of the wolf, to the new addition of the pigs buying their materials, to the pigs defeating the wolf. In class the next day, the teacher asked the boy what the man selling sticks thought when the pig came to his door. The boy promptly answered, "Holy cow, a talking pig!"
"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny "You could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"
A little boy was sitting at the kitchen table doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus three, that son of a bitch is five. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven... "
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
"I'm doing my math homework, mom," he replied.
"And is this how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother went to see his teacher the next day. "What are you teaching my son in math?" she asked the teacher.
"Right now, we are learning addition," the teacher replied.
"And are you teaching the children to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" the mother inquired.
Hearing this, the teacher burst out laughing. Once she regained her composure, she said, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from hisgirlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman.
this kid has the 5 letters of the alphabet for homework. so he gose to his mom who is on the phone and says what is the first letter of the alphabet and she says shut up. Then he gose to his brother who is playing vidio games and he asks what is the second letter os the alphabet and he says yes. Then he gose to his other brother who is watching bat man and he says what is the third letter of the alphabet and he says BATMAN. Then the kid gose to his sister who is on the phone with her boyfriend and he asks what is the fourth letter os the alphabet and she says i love you. then he gose to his father who is in the bathroom and he asks what is the 5th letter os the alphabet and he says IN THE TOILIT! The next day at school the teacher asks him the 1st letter of the alphabet and he says shut up. the teacher says you are going to the principals office and the kid says yes. the principle says what is your name and the kid says batman i love you. the principal asks him where do you live and more...